a Sunday drawing

Click on the picture if you're interested in the full masterpiece.  Ha!

another reason for loving words

I came across this poem this week and I love it.  Now I share it:

blessing the boats

by Lucille Clifton

(at St. Mary's)
may the tide
that is entering even now
the lip of your understanding
carry you out
beyond the face of fear
may you kiss
the wind then turn from it
certain that it will
love your back   may you
open your eyes to water
water waving forever
and may you in your innocence
sail through this to that

"When do you write your poetry?"  Rachel asked me.  She's great.  She actually believes what I write can be termed poetry.  She also inspires me to write.  Because I haven't been.  Besides the occasional journal entry or entry in Eamon's book, I haven't written anything creatively for a long time.  But as I read over old ideas, the spark reignites.  I love writing.  So I think I'll give it a go and start sharing some stuff again on my writing blog...as long as E naps, but he's up now.  Maybe tomorrow...

moving and missing

i knew the hardest thing about this move (for me) would be leaving behind so many of our lovely family members.  but i never thought i would cry when we started singing "shake your sillies out" on one of our first nights here.  it simply wasn't right in my heart to know i won't see these two blond-headed boys shaking, clapping, jumping, and having a grand old time together on an almost daily basis anymore.
it hasn't gotten any easier yet; we've only been here a week.  but technology is awesome and we've already been able to video-chat with some of those we moved away from.   
so we go.  and keep going.

Ray Hardy Clark: 14 September 1925 – 30 July 2012

My grampa passed away yesterday.  Boy, am I going to miss him.  I'm glad he got to go peacefully, though.  He's such an incredible example to me.  I love you, Grampa.

only three more days in May

too fast.
i want to slow everything down.
everything for me.
selfish?
so
i can hold my boy a little longer before his nap.
so
i can gaze at the mountains more deeply on a rainy morning.
so
i can rest side to side with my love and speak a thousand more soft words.
so
i can run another mile and feel stronger and braver for the day ahead.
so
i can call everyone i've been meaning to call but haven't because by day's close i'm beyond ready to curl up in bed.



just some thoughts.



i cut up mushrooms, peppers, and olives in mom's kitchen tonight.
dad said, it goes by too fast.  he looked out the window at eamon playing in the water with his uncles.

those are probably not his exact words, but what he voiced contained similar sentiment.

i responded, yeah, before i know it, eamon will be a dad.

mom quickly said, don't say that. 

it's true, i thought, though.  it's all going way too fast and i'm powerless to slow anything down but my breathing.  so slow it i will.  i will deepen it as well--for all the moments when i need to be present enough to remember the joy, sadness, beauty, happiness, or originality of a fleeting instance.

strength

Pilgrims on their knees.
Weary.
Knees worn and bleeding.

This is life.

Yes, I know. There is so much good in my life and in the lives all around me. The goodness of life is grand. All the joy. All the smiles. All the sunshiny moments.

But there's a dark and a troubled side too. We go and go and go and go, often past the point when we don't know how to keep going at all. So every time I hear "God Be with You Till We Meet Again" I now see a picture of endurance. You go and go and endure and go and endure. So tired in the end that you're left in a kneeling heap. Effort. It takes all you have to raise your head from your prostrate position at his feet. Yes, you made it. Come into my rest.

The above words reflect some thoughts I wrote down last September; I've continued to mull them around, especially during the last couple months. There hasn't been a day since Tawna's passing I haven't thought of her. Every day I think of her strength and endurance; I marvel at her fortitude. She has blessed my life for good. Boy, I have a long way to go, but I'm grateful I don't have to go it alone. Every day I'm blessed by the smiles of others, by the love of my family, by the beauty of this earth, and by so many things I would never be able to stop counting.